When you have a child, what's more important? Your future or your present? What sacrifices should be made?

We're in a homeless housing program for single women and children. I work part time, and attend classes full time. I want to be self sufficient, but don't want to sacrifice my schooling to do so. My school schedule cannot be changed and I can't work 2nd shift due to curfew at the shelter. I have no one to help us financially. I don't know if I'm making the right decision. HELP!!

I forgot to add that I was just accepted into one of the best colleges in my city.

Do you have someone you TRUST to help take care of your children while you are at school? A non-crazy mother or aunt or friend?

Most states offer free child care and tuition assistance when you apply for aid with the State. Look into this immediately as most states will give you food stamps (a credit card with money on it for food) and cash assistance (to help with bills, gasoline, toilet paper, non-food related items) while you are in school.

There are also agencies like Homeless Recovery (in Tampa, FL) that will help with a deposit on an apartment and deposits for getting your gas, electric, phone and water turned on. Look into this, too. The law usually is two heartbeats per bedroom, which means that you and your baby could possibly get a studio or a one bedroom that would be relatively cheap, depending on where you live.

Go for the gold, Mom. You dont say how old your baby is, but if you can get aid from the State -- and you DEFINITELY QUALIFY -- you can have child care for your baby, go to school, have food and extra cash on hand to do those things you need.

Right decision? I think so, yes. I had an excellent, high-paying job and my husband had a thriving business. Our baby daughter "got sick" for lack of a better word.

He cut his business way back. I quit my job. We didnt know what was wrong with our baby or how long we would have with her. After two and a half years of searching for answers, some smart doc finally told us the truth: Brain damage at birth.

In the end, I never did go back to work and his business bounced back. We dont make NEAR the money we did before, but was it the right decision for our children? Absolutely!

You are doing the right thing to be able to provide for you and your child. Make sure when you get home at night there are plenty of hugs and love and kisses and not frustration and anger. This time of hardship will be small and short compared to the many, many years of good it will bring.

Good luck and we will also be praying for you.

Rebecca

I would say don't let go of your dream and keep going forward with your college you'll never get out of your situation if you work part time. If it is a homeless housing program you should not be condemned for attending school to better you child as well as your own life. Are you responsible for things there? Good luck and stay in school you will reap the rewards later.

I'd love to say future is more important but if you overburden yourself now, your future will be screwed anyway, so I'd have to say just try to enjoy your life.

Have you discussed the situation with the people running the shelter, with your academic adviser and with your employer? Can exceptions to the rules be made to help you go to school and work?

Personally, if the sacrifices now will see you finishing college and in a good paying job in four years, I'd probably make the sacrifice. It's going to take a lot of motivation. Good luck.

PS - Have you talked to your college about a work study program? The hours may be better than where you are working now.

hmm I am sorry but I don't fully understand your question. I see two aways to answer it. One for my personal opition which is the way the first part of your question presents itself & two it looks like you are asking for help on your situation.

1. For me personally I had my first child at 20. I am blessed to be married to wonderful man so I have been able to stay home with all 3 of my kids. My heart goes out to single moms I don't know how they do it.

What's more important? Future or present? Both really. I look into the now at how I can improve our home to make a good home and make it better for the whole family. Plus I look at how I can improve myself & my kids. Scarifies? My time. I homeschool all 3 of them. I love it but there are days I wish I could send them all off to school so I can have peace and quiet.

I have chronic health problems and some days or weeks are spent in bed. I can homeschool from but, worry I am not the mom or wife I should be and I trust in God.

2. Your second part of asking for HELP!! (smile) - Are you a Christian? Do you pray? My heart goes out to you so I'll pray for you today. I know many of our local churches help single mom. Would you feel ok to maybe call some of your local churches and ask if they have a single mom program? Our local church gives free child care to single moms.

Also your children didn't create themselves. Their father should help you support them if they are breathing and alive. I'd suggest checking into getting child support. Even if it is just as litle as $1 a week or month. Every bit helps.

What about the children's grandparents, aunt, uncles? I am sure their father has family.

God bless and good luck. You'll be in my prayers. I admire single moms. One of the strongest groups of women alive. Hugs.