How to deal with a jealous co-worker?

I started a job as an admin assistant to the director. I spend all day in the office with a girl who is assistant to the deputy director. She could not apply for my job because she does not have a degree. From what I gather, she treats this place as her life. She moved here over two years ago and has made no friends since. She is twice divorced with three kids and an 80 year old father that she takes care of. She is 35. I have no children and am younger than her. She wants all the attention from the guys we work with. If one of them speaks to me, she gets mad. She also brings up the fact quite often that I make more money than she does. I have done everything to try to be nice and take her feelings into consideration. Yet any time I ask a simple question all I get is a rude remark and no answer in return. The boss has noticed and asked her to communicate more. Any suggestions on how to approach her to improve things? I don鈥檛 want to spend everyday in silence.

Frankly, it's not you. She would be treating anyone in your position the same way. Fortunately, the boss has noticed. If you have career discussions with him, you may want to mention again that this treatment has continued. Other than that, there's not much you can do. She's the one with the problem.

wow you got one like me, i would suggest you to be little patient and polite. She might be feeling insecure and jealous as you are better than her.

I would say invite her to some party or occasion and make friendship and tell her how you feel about her. If that doesn't work then ignore her and carry on with your work.

Suggest that she go back to school and get a degree so when you move up the ladder, she can take your position. Sorry, this is mean of me to say. She really have a miserable life and want to make yours the same. If you were in her shoes and she's been there a long time and you were to come in making more money than her, it would piss you off also. Degree or not. Just befriend her everyday. Ask how her family is doing and how she feels. Kill her with kindness, this usually works. If she can break you down, she'll continue to be mean to you. Stay Blessed.

You didn't mention your age so I am going to assume you are under thirty. The reason your age becomes important is experience, you have to acquire some in life to deal with certain situations and this may be one. The biggest part of the following answer has nothing to do with my statement in the second sentence but is extremely important. Respect! It comes in both directions, and I'm sure you are giving out your share. What you need to do is insure the co-worker is providing enough! The very first thing I would do in your case is challenge her (in private) about the fact that you respect her, but do not believe she is retuning the courtesy and it doesn't feel good. You don't have to wait for a reply (you should get one), but don't wait and don't push it. If she has any dignity or integrity she will ask one of two questions: 1 - What do you mean? or 2 - Will you forgive her? Either answer should give you an excellent peek into her brain. At this point, your future relationship will be cemented. If she answered number 1, begin treating her as a subordinate and start training her for her future (you can tell her this fact). If she answered number 2, talk with her in depth, she will become an excellent work partner. If she was angered by your statement / question, start thinking about where you will go for your next job or begin calculating and planning where she will go for her next job.

Good Luck!

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