I stayed home with my kids for 9 years. How will I ever get back into the workplace now? I'm crushed.?

I was a very competent administrative assistant. Sadly, I entered my last position in a poorly paid job market. That shows on my salary history, and it will never show I was worth more than I was paid.

I can't seem to get a first look, let alone a second glance when I apply for jobs. Seems a stay at home mom is a penalty. Who knew?

That is so not true. Believe it or not, being a stay at home mom can be an asset for you. I am assuming that you did not just sit on the couch all day eating bon bons watching soap operas and Jerry Springer. The time management skills, personel skills, and budgeting skills can translate directly into the workforce. Plus, you have worked with children for 9 years which is about the same as working with your coworkers. The area that you will have to overcome, is probably the commitment to your job versus your commitment to your children. If you can show that you have an effective plan in place for sick children, school activities, and things like that, you can prove your woth to a company. Don't sell yourself short, be proud of the work you have done for the past 9 years. Being a mother is harder than people think and, it is far more important than people think.
Have confidence in yourself, be patient and the right oppertunity will come your way.